Best jokes ever

Steve rushed into a crowded tavern on Saturday night. Men and women stood 3 deep at the bar. Our man, who felt nature calling strongly, looked about him but couldn't see anything that resembled a bathroom. He saw a stairway and race up the steps to the second floor in his desperate search. Just as his bowels threatened to erupt, he spotted a one foot by one foot hole in the floor. Now, at the end of us control, he decided to take advantage of the hole. He dropped his pants, hunched over the hole, and did his thing. Thoroughly relieved and relaxed, he sauntered down the steps to find, to his surprise, that the bar which was crowded a few minutes ago, was now empty. "Hey!" He yelled to the empty room, "Where is everyone?" From behind the bar a voice responded, "Where were you when the poop hit the fan?"
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Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall? A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd! Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall? A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
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More jokes about: music
Q: What do you get if you cross a nun and a chicken? A: A pecking order.
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More jokes about: bird, life, religious
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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More jokes about: christian, insulting, management
Wife: "There's something preying on my mind." Husband: "Don't worry, it'll soon die of starvation."
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More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I was stung by a bee!” she said. “Where?” he asked. “Between the first and second hole.” she replied. He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
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More jokes about: golf, medical, stupid, women
A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
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More jokes about: geography, phone, political, redneck, stupid
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.
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More jokes about: lawyer, political
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris


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