Best jokes ever

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have balls to scratch.
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has 75.97 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: women
Little Johnny's father farted. The son asked his father: "What was that?" His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'" When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind? Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
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has 75.97 % from 2792 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, fart, little Johnny, school
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
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has 75.97 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
Q: Why did God create alcohol? A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, work
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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has 75.95 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
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