God created the man.He noticed that the man is hungry he created bread . He understood the man is thirsty so he originated water. He considered the man feels cold so he created fire . At the end God recognized the man is very comfortable then he created WOMAN!!
Vote:
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”.
Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have a color TV”.
Vote:
Twin brother were in a same class. Teacher ask them to write their father’s name.
They wrote different name.
Teacher was shocked and ask them why did they wrote the different names.
They reply, ” Now you wont say that we cheated”.
Q: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?
A: Every morning you'll rise and shine!
What is it?
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Bush is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.
What is it?
The answer is: "A Last Name..."
You didn’t think I’d tell you a dirty joke, did you?
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."
The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!
Q: What is the first symptom of AIDS?
A: A sharp pain in the ass.
Q: What is the difference between northern and southerner fairytales?
A: Northerner starts off with "Once upon a time..." a southerner starts with "listen to this shit..."
A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?"
"Because that's where we conceived her."
"Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."