Best jokes ever

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Vote: has 76.30 % from 221 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points." His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?" The old man replied, "It's fart football!" A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!" After about five minutes the old man farts again and says - "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7!" Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, - "Touchdown, tie score!" Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says - "Fieldgoal, I lead 17 to 14!" Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed. The wife looks and says, "What the heck was that?" The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides!"
Vote: has 76.29 % from 309 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sport
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Vote: has 76.28 % from 116 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do the KKK and Nike have in common? They both make a nigga run faster.
Vote: has 76.28 % from 1145 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, racist
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Vote: has 76.28 % from 733 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
Devil stays in hell because he knows Chuck is around, here on earth.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If God is a woman then we're all going to go to Hell, but we'll never know why.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, women
The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.
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More jokes about: gym, money
Doctor: "You look much worse than you did last week! I said you should smoke a maximum of five cigarettes a day!" Patient: "And that's what I did. And it wasn't easy because up until now I didn't smoke at all!"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, doctor, health, stupid
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel


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