Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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has 74.27 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Daddy is relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out "HANG ON TIGHT DADDY! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"
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has 74.27 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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has 74.27 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, death, doctor
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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has 74.27 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
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has 74.26 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, health, hospital, masturbation
My mother in law's farts are so horrible that I can rent her to governments for using instead of chemical weapons for destroying their enemies!
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has 74.26 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, disgusting, fart, mother in law, war
Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"
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has 74.26 % from 518 votes. More jokes about: love, sex, wife
Yo mama is so fat, the army used her pants for a parachute.
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has 74.23 % from 351 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, military, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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has 74.22 % from 275 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
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