Best jokes ever

The clerk walks into the boss's office and says, "The auditors have just left, sir." "Have they finished checking the books?", asks the boss. "Very thoroughly," is the reply. "Well, what did they say", says the boss. "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: accountant, management, money
Always be yourself. Unless you can be quiet, then be that.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
I used to play tennis, baseball, basketball and chess, but I stopped after my son broke my playstation.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life, sport, technology
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, hipster
Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: pirate, school
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: cop
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, technology
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, love, school, teacher
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