Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?" Patient: "What pills?"
Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.