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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
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Doctor: "Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?" Patient: "What pills?"
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Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
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Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Q: What do New Year's Parades have in common with Santa Claus? A: No one is awake to see either of them.
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Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
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