In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they’re off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. ”Help me find my ball. Look over there,” he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. ”I’ve found my ball!” he announces. ”After all of the years we’ve been partners and playing together,” Jon says, “you’d cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?” ”What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!” ”And you’re a liar, too!” Jon says. ”I’ll have you know I’ve been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!”
Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.
Chuck Norris broke a mirror and got 7 years of good luck.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.