Best jokes ever

My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: life, old people, technology
Why did the blonde build a bridge across the river? So she could have shade when she swam across!
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde says to her doctor, "Each time I try to sip my coffee, my eye hurts." The doctor says, "Maybe you should take the stirrer out of the cup."
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: women
Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dad, money
A senior Catholic Priest in Kenya was dying in a hospital and for his death wish he asked to see the local MP and the county Governor. Within hours, the two arrived. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands and kept quiet. The politicians were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a senior and well respected priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the Governor asked, 'But why did ask for me and Mheshimiwa?' The priest gathered all his strength and held their hands even tighter. Then with his eyes still closed, he mumbled 'Jesus died between two thieves. My only wish is to die the same way.' Minutes later as the silence enveloped the hospital room, the priest took his last breath.
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has 73.66 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: catholic, god, hospital, life, priest
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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has 73.66 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
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has 73.65 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, money, priest, sex
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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has 73.64 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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