Best jokes ever

Back in my day, we didn't watch TV while we ate dinner. We actually talked to each other. It was awful!
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has 73.80 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: food, life, technology
A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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has 73.80 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, lawyer, money
The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."
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has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.
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has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?" Wife: "That's your job." Hasband: "Says who?" Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page." Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee." Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."
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has 73.75 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: bible, marriage, religious
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? A: He heard the snow blower coming.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty, weather
A couple goes to Mexico City on vacation and eats at a famous local restaurant. The waiter tells them they have a delicious special every Sunday, so the couple orders the special. With great fanfare, the waiter brings out a large silver serving platter with two huge steaming rounds of meat, juices dripping. It smells delicious and tastes even better. The couple is delighted with their meal, and the husband asks the waiter what fabulous meat was in the dish. "Senor," he explains, "each Saturday night, we have the bullfights, and that was the bull's balls you ate." The couple is a bit taken aback by what they have just eaten, but it was delicious, so they get over it. Six months later, the couple returns to Mexico City and decides to go to the same restaurant. Feeling adventuresome, they order the same dish. Once again, with great fanfare, the waiter brings out the huge silver serving dish and places it on the table. But this time, there are two tiny pieces of meat, barely enough for one. The man says, "Excuse me, but the last time we were here and ordered this dish, it was huge, more than enough for two. Why is this portion so small?" The waiter smiles and replies, "Well, you see, senor, sometimes the bull wins!"
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, holiday, husband, mexican
She said "Gym or me". Sometimes I miss her.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: gym, women
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: life, men, wife, women
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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has 73.75 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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