Best jokes ever

Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary? A: Because the river was too mainstream.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hipster
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 73.50 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68? At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, women
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, dog
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, driving, stupid
A golfer was addressing his ball, getting ready to shoot. Just as he was about ready to hit, a voice came over the p.a. system - "Will the gentleman on the lady's tee please move back to the men's tee". He looked up, looked back down and then resumed addressing the ball again. The Voice again - "Will the Man on the Red tees PLEASE MOVE BACK to the White Tees?!" He looked back at the starters shack and yelled, "Will the IDIOT on the p.a. shut up so that the man on the lady's tee can hit his second shot"!
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has 73.48 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: sport
Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?” Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Bark, Johnny, bark.” Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”
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has 73.48 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in. A: A worm.
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
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