Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Vote:
has 73.54 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, work
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. "Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something" the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: "We will redecorate! We will change desks, chairs, sofas, floors, curtains, everything will be changed." The others also agree and start to make plans. So sometime later, the maid comes inside, and she sees them so upset all working hard making plans, and says: "What about you guys, What is going on?" "We do not go well as government and we are changing the decoration" they reply. The maid shrugs tentatively. "Why do you react like that?" "What can I tell you guys" she answers. "Before I came here for work, I used to work in a brothel. And when business didn’t go well, we did not change the furniture, but the hookers."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, weather, women
Waiter: "How do you like your steak, sir?" Sir: "Like winning an argument with my wife." Waiter: "Rare it is."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage
Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet. He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?" The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!" The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?" The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, health
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke: "OK, chief, but why so much?" At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The tribe signals: "Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: car, geography, military, money
<<<275276277278
More jokes →
Page 275 of 1427.