Best jokes ever

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike? A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they go.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, weather, women
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, work
Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, health
Harry's wife says, "Harry, do these jeans make my ass look like the side of the house?" He says, "No, our house isn't blue."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, marriage, mean
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. "Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something" the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: "We will redecorate! We will change desks, chairs, sofas, floors, curtains, everything will be changed." The others also agree and start to make plans. So sometime later, the maid comes inside, and she sees them so upset all working hard making plans, and says: "What about you guys, What is going on?" "We do not go well as government and we are changing the decoration" they reply. The maid shrugs tentatively. "Why do you react like that?" "What can I tell you guys" she answers. "Before I came here for work, I used to work in a brothel. And when business didn’t go well, we did not change the furniture, but the hookers."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
Vote:
has 73.53 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: dentist, dirty, husband, old people, sex
A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
Vote:
has 73.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: school, soccer, teacher
<<<275276277278
More jokes →
Page 275 of 1426.