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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens? A: A meowntain.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
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To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
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You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
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More jokes about: age, Christmas, Santa