Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens? A: A meowntain.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Place a pair of pants and shoes inside the only toilet stall in a rest room to make it appear someone is using it all day.
Fill someone's hair-dryer with baby powder.
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.