what do black people and bicycles have in common?
They only work with a chain on.
Vote:
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."
"What a coincidence," said the woman next to him.
I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him.
"What are your celebrating?"
"I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
"What a coincidence, the woman said.
For my husband and I have been trying to have a child.
Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.
"I switched cocks," he replied.
"What a coincidence," she said.
Parallel lines have so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a Prostitute on a football field?
A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
Vote:
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
You.
Vote:
A boy went into a hoare house and said he wanted an AIDS's infected prostitute.
The woman at reception said room 9 top of the hall.
He went to the room and did his business.When he was leaving she asked him why he wanted her she being aids infected.
The boy answered,"When I go home i'll sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with the babysitter then my dad will sleep with my mam then in the morning my mam will fuck the milkman and thats the BASTARD that ran over my dog.
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."