If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
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Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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