If Chuck Norris punches you in your dream you will wake up with bruises.
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If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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