Best jokes ever

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.
Vote:
has 73.18 % from 433 votes. More jokes about: blonde
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
Vote:
has 73.18 % from 373 votes. More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
has 73.18 % from 381 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
Vote:
has 73.17 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Vote:
has 73.17 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
Do you know how to play gay poker? Queens are wild and straights don’t count.
Vote:
has 73.15 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: gay
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
Vote:
has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: cop
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."
Vote:
has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote:
has 73.13 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Vote:
has 73.13 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
<<<283284285286
More jokes →
Page 283 of 1428.