Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two - one to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
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Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby?
A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word "Mother-in-law" you get the words "Woman Hitler".
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Two police officers stopped a guy for speeding on the province highway in Mississauga, Ontario.
As they were writing up the ticket, one oficer turned to the other and said: "How do you spell Mississauga?"
The other one replied: "I don't know."
So the first one said: "Well what are we gong to do? If we spell it wrong, it will get dismissed."
The second oficer said: "Why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Toronto?"
One morning a boy walks in to class late
His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been"
He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car"
15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car"
2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen.
So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off.
So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown.
He got a boner, so that was the end of him.
Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him.
This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner.
So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Why did the white guy go to the black guy's yard sale?
To get his stuff back.
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Yo' Mama's so fat, her scale reads "Game Over."