FOUR stages of girl & boy relation!
1. hand in hand.
2. that in hand.
3. hand in that.
4. that in that.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Vote:
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along.
He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides.
When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”
One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
Vote:
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
Vote:
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage.
Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry.
Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days.
Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below.
As they descend, they see a man walking his dog.
One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, "Where are we?"
The man yells back, "About a half mile from town."
Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist.
One flyer says to the other, "He must have been a lawyer."
The other says, "A lawyer! How do you know that?"
The first says, "That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant."
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement.
He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.
The blonde giggled and replied, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ?
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
Vote:
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says,
"Come again!"
Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Yo mama is so hairy, Kingkong got jealous.