What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl's ass.
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'
He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'
I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
‘Its been a rough day.
I put on a shirt and a button fell off.
I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off.
I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Girls are like an internet virus:
they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote:
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
Vote:
Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located?
Tommy: At the great airports!
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years.
One is pushing around a baby buggy.
The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed.
"Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?"
Murmurs the other woman.
"Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
How do they name Chinese baby's?
They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!