Best jokes ever

Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 72.17 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
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has 72.17 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
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has 72.16 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A Girl was towelling her wet pussy. She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until... ...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away. Moral Lessons 1. Be kind to Animals 2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
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has 72.16 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex, women
There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
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has 72.14 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: business, kids, money
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
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has 72.13 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: kids, little Johnny
A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
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has 72.13 % from 584 votes. More jokes about: sex
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
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has 72.12 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, stupid
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA
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has 72.12 % from 1069 votes. More jokes about: black people, sport, white people
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 72.11 % from 1076 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
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