Best jokes ever

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time
My boss is like a diaper. He's always on my ass, and half of the time, full of shit.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about:
If my main parachute doesn't open and my reserve parachute doesn't open, how long till i hit the ground? The rest of your life...
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb
Father's Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can't afford.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, money
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money? A: He is always a little to short.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, communication, money
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out. After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. "I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working." "Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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