How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke on Friday night.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says: "Haha nice one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."
Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.