Best jokes ever

Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: customer service, family, mean, money, music
What is the sharpest thing in the world? A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 490 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located? Tommy: At the great airports!
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote:
has 71.34 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
<<<331332333334
More jokes →
Page 331 of 1427.