Best jokes ever

Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
The water in Rio is so bad that even Usain Bolt had the "runs" in his last race!
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: sport
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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has 71.41 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 71.41 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex
A student visits the principal's office The principal asks: "What is your name?" The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david." The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?" Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: school, student
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?" "Is this her first child?" he asked. "No, this is her husband."
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has 71.40 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: wife
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