Our baby was born last week.
When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Vote:
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
Vote:
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
Vote:
One day little Johnny asked his teacher
"So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule?
The teacher responded "Yes why?"
Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
Vote:
Joke has 71.09 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
What do you call a young army?
Infantry.
What is 6.9?
A great thing ruined by a period.
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.