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Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
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Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?
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Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
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On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
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More jokes about: family, graduation, life, school