Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms? Way to go team!
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blowjob? A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".
‘Its been a rough day. I put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".