Best jokes ever

A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: women
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, death, insulting
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? A: Hope it's Halloween!
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: death, Halloween
Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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has 71.35 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: math
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 71.34 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
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