Best jokes ever

If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
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More jokes about: drunk, friendship, graduation
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
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More jokes about: animal, blonde