Best jokes ever

One afternoon, Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel’s ear and she says, “Mable, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?” Mable answered, “I have a suppository in my EAR?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m awfully glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: old people
Q: What comes before 8? A: My school bus usually.
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: school
Three men were talking about their teenage daughters: The first says "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and found a packet of cigarettes. I didn't even know she smoked". The second says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank". Then the third speaks up. "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a penis".
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has 71.49 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, kids, teen
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
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has 71.48 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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has 71.47 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
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has 71.46 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: medical, men, money, sex, women
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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has 71.45 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair." Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!" Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
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has 71.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: beauty, money, party, teen
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
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has 71.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: blonde, science, student
"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
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has 71.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: insulting, single, ugly
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