If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
When my daughter asked me what to buy her friends for graduation presents. I suggested morning-after pills and bus passes.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean? A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.