Best jokes ever

This elderly couple is sitting on a park bench in front of a large pond. On the other side of the pond are vendors sell all types of food stuff. The wife turns to hubby and says, "I could really go for an ice cream cone." Hubby replies, "Well, I'll go get you one." Wife says, "But, you'll forget, you better write it down." Hubby replies, "No I won't; what do you want?" Wife says, "Get me a strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles." Hubby replies, "Okay, strawberry cone with chocolate sprinkles. See, I'll remember. Several hours pass and, finally, the hubby returns. The wife asks him, "What took you so long, did you get lost?" The hubby replies, "No, and I got what you wanted." The wife opens the bag to discover a cheeseburger and fries! Wife says, "I knew you you should have written the order down." Hubby says, "What do you mean - every thing is there." To which the wife replies, "No, it's not... look, you forgot the pickles!"
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More jokes about: food, memory, old people, time
Toilets are like mothers-in-law: the farther away the better.
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More jokes about: life, mother in law
Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
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More jokes about: alcohol
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
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More jokes about: doctor, life
There's no wine holder on this vacuum cleaner. It's like it wasn't even designed for women. How can I be expected to work under these conditions?
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More jokes about: technology, wine, women, work
What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
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More jokes about: accountant
Remove the shower head and place a chicken bouillon cube in it, then put the head back on.
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More jokes about: April fools
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris