Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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has 71.07 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Whats the simalarites between a fence and a white person? They both get jumped by Mexican and black people
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has 71.06 % from 304 votes. More jokes about: racist
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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has 71.06 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Little Johnny in Math Class. One day little Johnny was sitting in math class. The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?" Little Johnny replied "none." Confused the teacher asked again. "Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?" Johnny replies "0." Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this." Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left." Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking." Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor. One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?" The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone." Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, school, vulgar
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
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has 71.05 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: military
Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located? Tommy: At the great airports!
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has 71.05 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: school
A man was relaxing with his evening paper, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it, and saw nobody, so he closed the door and went back to his paper. There was another knock, so he opened the door again. This time, he looked down and saw a small snail. "Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail said. The man picked up the snail, threw him into the bushes, and went back to reading. A year later, there was another knock at the door. It was the snail. "What'd you do that for?"
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has 71.05 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 71.05 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
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has 71.05 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.
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has 71.05 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
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