Best jokes ever

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
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has 71.03 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: beauty, little Johnny
How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.
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has 71.03 % from 565 votes. More jokes about: asian, cat, racist
Yo momma is so stupid, when your were born she looked at your embelical cord and says "It comes with cable!"
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has 71.01 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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has 71.01 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: sex
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, drunk
I was going to tell a chinese joke, but it's just wong.
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: racist
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, health, medical, old people, student
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd
Q: What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers? A: They grow taller!
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: insulting, lawyer, mean, viagra
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
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has 71.00 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: car, chemistry, nerd
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