What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Wedding anniversaries are a time when men pause and reflect on what it was they did before they were married: anything they wanted to.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.