You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote:
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Vote:
Our baby was born last week.
When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.
Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.
In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
Vote:
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the redneck.
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
What was Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1