Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit? A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Yo Mama's so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.
What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
A husband and wife decide they need to spice up their sex life. The wife buys a pair of crotchless underwear, puts them on, and goes into the bedroom. She seductively asks her husband, "Hey Big Boy, do ya want some of this?" The husband takes one look at her underwear and replies, "Hell no! Look what that thing does to underwear!"
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, "There are no fish down there." He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He then walked about 50 yards away and drilled another hole and again the voice said, "There's no fish down there." He looked up into the sky and asked, "God, is that you?" "No, you idiot," the voice said, "it's the rink manager."
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".