Best jokes ever

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer
Q: Why can't women read maps? A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: geography, women
A guy stumbles through the front door of a bar, ambles up to the bartender and orders a beer. The bartender looks at the drunk man and says,”I’m sorry sir, but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink.” The guy swears and walks out of the bar. Five minutes later the guy comes flying through the side door of the bar, and yells for a beer. Again the bartender says,”I’m sorry, sir…but I can’t serve you…you’ve already had too much to drink!” Ten minutes later, the same guy comes barrel-assing through the back door of the bar, storms up to the bartender, and demands a beer. Again, the bartender says to the man…”I’m really sorry, sir, but you’ve had too much to drink…you’re going to have to leave!” The guy looks quizzically at the bartender and says finally, “My God, man… How many bars do you work at?!”
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, drunk
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live. She chose last week and this week.
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, life, stupid, time
"Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?" "He was sacked for making a grave mistake."
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has 70.90 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor
What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner? He hit his nose.
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has 70.89 % from 631 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Why did the white guy go to the black guy's yard sale? To get his stuff back.
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has 70.88 % from 1408 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, white people
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though! Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?" Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
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has 70.88 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny
Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
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has 70.85 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: sex
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
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has 70.84 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: black humor, easter, food, health
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