Best jokes ever

Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. "Tom what’s going on?" Mark asked. "It’s my wife Beckie," Tom replied. "She ran off with my best friend!" "Hey wait a second!" Said Mark. "Aren’t I your best friend?" "Not any more," Tom said with a happy smile. "He is!"
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight..."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, time
Q: Why did the one handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: travel
I'm trying to write a joke about overdosing on cocaine. But I need a line to end it.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: drug, life
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids, money, wine
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, work
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: money
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the butt?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?" Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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