Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends.
The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the honey?...Honey."
Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the sugar?...Sugar."
So now, the third guy is under pressure.
He has to come up with something good.
After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, "Pass me the pork...pig."
Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions? Sure.
Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate.
So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives:
moving back in with your parents.
Vote:
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school