Best jokes ever

Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
Q: Why did the one handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: travel
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?" The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight..."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, time
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, school
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says: "Haha nice one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life
We’re all self-made but only the rich and successful like to admit it.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: money
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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has 70.84 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
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has 70.83 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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