Best jokes ever

When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest." "How long have you been married?" she asked. "Ten years", he replied.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, work
Q: Why did the one handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: travel
Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. "Tom what’s going on?" Mark asked. "It’s my wife Beckie," Tom replied. "She ran off with my best friend!" "Hey wait a second!" Said Mark. "Aren’t I your best friend?" "Not any more," Tom said with a happy smile. "He is!"
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine." Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently." "Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure you having nothing else to add?" "Well, yes," said the member. "I lie extensively."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: health, life
Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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has 70.84 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: marriage
"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?" "Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
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has 70.84 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: dad, school
I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?" "Is this her first child?" he asked. "No, this is her husband."
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: wife
A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving. While reading him his Miranda Rights, the female officer tells the man, "Sir, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be held against you." "Boobs," the drunk replied.
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
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