Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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has 69.91 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: math, women
I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: IT
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
Doc, I think I need to wear glasses Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: women
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "A shilling?" said the Justice, "It only takes shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go bury 20 of `em!"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer, money
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal
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