Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
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has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, fish
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. "Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: desert island, IT, time
A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks "He can drink?" "Oh, sure. He can drink." So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. "That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?" The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man. The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?" The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"
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has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
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has 69.86 % from 518 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist, teacher
Yo' Mama is so fat, she wears a watch on each arm one for each time zone she's in.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Q: Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? A: Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: women
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