Best jokes ever

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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has 70.14 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 70.13 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
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has 70.11 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
My mother in law was complaining about her dentures to me. She told: "Whenever I get overweight it'll be a stench; when I make myself thin it would be stretched; when something squeezes in it then I 'll faint from enjoyment!"
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has 70.11 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: fat, mean, mother in law
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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has 70.11 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
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has 70.11 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: friendship, Hitler, memory
Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that?” “Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”
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has 70.10 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, marriage
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
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has 70.08 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.
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has 70.08 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, religious
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