Best jokes ever

Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 69.85 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
I got so fed up with trick or treaters at Halloween that in the end I turned the lights out and pretended I wasn't in. Forget the ships. My lighthouse, my rules...
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, life, mean, travel, work
Q: What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals? A: He went down really well!
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, mean, men, women
Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper. Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..." Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach. Husband faints. Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, husband, office, technology, wife
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Son: "Mommy why doesn't Gandhi have hair?" Mom: "Because he never lies." Son: "Ohh now I see why ladies have long hair."
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, kids, mean, women
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes", the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: women
Your mama so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live. She chose last week and this week.
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has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, life, stupid, time
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