Best jokes ever

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".
Vote: has 71.63 % from 465 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
I got in trouble during high school for masturbating in the showers. Apparently it completely ruined the trip to Auschwitz.
Vote: has 71.62 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Yo momma so old... Jurassic Park brought back the memories...
Vote: has 71.61 % from 100 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, memory, old people, Yo mama
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
Vote: has 71.60 % from 136 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: drug, drunk, sport
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote: has 71.60 % from 502 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, cop, light bulb, racist
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
Vote: has 71.60 % from 218 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Why was the computer tired when he got home? Because he had a hard drive.
Vote: has 71.58 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer
Bill Gates goes to purgatory. St. Peter says, "Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go". First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women running on beaches. Then, St Peter shows Bill an image of Heaven with robed angels playing harps on clouds. Bill chooses Hell. About a week later, St. Peter checks in on Bill in Hell and finds him being whipped by demons. Bill says to St. Peter, "What happened to all the beautiful women and the beaches?" St. Peter replies, "That was just the screen saver."
Vote: has 71.58 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, black humor, heaven, women
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.
Vote: has 71.58 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Teacher: "I will call your parents!" Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!" Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…" High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
Vote: has 71.58 % from 116 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher