Best jokes ever

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
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More jokes about: blonde, math, phone
Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? When the kids are in college.
Vote: has 70.61 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, college, kids, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Vote: has 70.59 % from 108 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought starbucks are money in space.
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More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, "I would like to see a bikini that fits me." Clerk, "me too..."
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More jokes about: women
Seven days on a honeymoon make one hole weak.
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More jokes about: holiday, women
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup. While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup. While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup. This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?" The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
Vote: has 70.55 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty