Best jokes ever

Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 70.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
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has 70.05 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: sex
An old married couple were having s*x and the wife says, "Baby, suck my nipples!" The man dies; autopsy said, "Reason for death: Expired Milk"
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has 70.03 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
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has 70.03 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: sex
My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, life, time
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory. He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back. "Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away. Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?" The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, elephant, football, geography, memory
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it and received this reply. "For Heavens SAKES, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS! At 4 A.M. the next morning a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, food, life, prison
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though! Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?" Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
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has 70.02 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: holiday, stupid, weather
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