Best jokes ever

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men
If Chuck Norris gets a question wrong, it is right.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid, work
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
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