Best jokes ever

A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, time, ugly, Yo mama
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid, work
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: women
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, death, insulting
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
Jill: "How did you find the weather on your vacation?" Bill: "I just went outside and there it was!"
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: holiday, stupid, weather
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