Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Chuck Norris can say never.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
The first thing on my bucket list is to fill the bucket with wine.
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A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said: "Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" "Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one."
Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.
Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
A tourist was watching an Indigenous man sending smoke signals. Everything around him was primitive, except of a latest model fire extinguisher. "What's the fire extinguisher for?" the tourist wondered. "It's for erasing the misspellings!"