Best jokes ever

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: women
You are so old, if you to acted your age, you'd die.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, death, insulting
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, technology
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: fat, god, Yo mama
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid, work
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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has 70.01 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, music
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: hipster, time
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Einstein and a colleague were sitting having a coffee chatting about physics. His colleague suddenly stopped, pulled out a small notebook and wrote a couple of words in it.rnEinstein asked "What was that for?" rnHis colleague replied. "I always carry a small notebook around with me, and then, if ever I have a good idea, I can make a quick note so as not to forget it later. You should try it Albert".rnEinstein replied "Oh, I don't need one of those, I've only ever had two good ideas".
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about:
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