Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...?
"It's open."
Vote:
Have you heard of the new black Barbie doll?
It comes with 6 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check!
The teacher said to the children: "In a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep left behind?"
"None", little Jim say.
"None?" says the teacher surprised. "Jim, you’re clueless in math."
"And you, misses, are clueless in sheep! As soon as the first sheep jumps out, the other will follow as well!"
A milkman gets an order for 45 pints of milk.
Puzzled, he decides to ask the customer if this is a mistake.
When he knocks on the door, a woman comes out wearing just a bath towel, and she confirms that she wants 45 pints.
"Milk baths are good for your skin," explains the woman.
"Oh, OK," replies the milkman.
"Do you need it pasteurized then?"
"No," says the woman.
"Up to my tits will be fine."
I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
"Was anything wrong with them?" the clerk asked.
"Yes," I said. "They hurt my feelings."
Vote:
A father, as he was going home, he saw his daughter on the porch, kissing a guy goodnight.
Disturbed, he turned to the guy.
"In our home, young man, we turn of the light at 11 o'clock, sharp!"
"Oh, Thank you so much Sir! That's so convenient! Thanks!"
Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors."
Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.
Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you.
What do you do?
U stop imagining...