Best jokes ever

They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
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More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
NASA sends a space shuttle up with two pigs and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first pig and asks, "Pig #1, do you know your mission?" The pig replies, "Oink oink. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Oink oink." Then NASA Control asks the second pig, "Pig #2, do you know your mission?" The second pig replies, "Oink oink. Once Pig #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. Oink oink." Then NASA asks the blonde, "Blonde woman, do you know your mission?" The blonde woman replies, "Ummmmmmm...Oh yeah, I remember now.Feed the pigs and DON'T TOUCH A GODDAMNED THING!"
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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
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Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
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I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then voice in my head says: "Haha nice one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
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More jokes about: life
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
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Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
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More jokes about: food, kitty