A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live.
Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order.
"Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman.
"I've only got to make a will.
And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money?
I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Yo momma is so stupid, when your were born she looked at your embelical cord and says "It comes with cable!"
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?"
I replied I prefer the good one.
Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!"
I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
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A Girl was towelling her wet pussy.
She enjoyed it so much that she began to rub it vigorously until...
...the pussy cried "Meow" and runs away.
Moral Lessons
1. Be kind to Animals
2. Always keep your thoughts clean...
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school.
When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher.
Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing.
An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
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