A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...?
"It's open."
Vote:
Some love one,
Some love two.
I love one,
That is you.
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle."
His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..."
He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Julia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.
One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of soccer at the other end of the field.
Julia approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said that she was.
Some time later, however, Julia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself.
Going up to her again, she enquired, 'Would you like me to be your friend?'
The girl hesitated, then said, 'Alright,' while looking at Julia with some suspicion.
Feeling she was making progress, Julia then asked, 'Why are you standing here all alone?'
'Because,' the girl said with a large sigh, 'I'm the goalie!'
How do you get the little black kids to stop jumping on the bed?
Put Velcro on the ceiling. How do you get them down?
Tell the Mexican kids it's a piñata.
Vote:
Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you.
What do you do?
U stop imagining...
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.