Best jokes ever

Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
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has 69.41 % from 696 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
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has 69.40 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people. You put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away! "That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend. "Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A boss took one of his employees to show his new sports car. "That is amazing" the employee was fascinated. "That is true" replied boss "and if you set your new goals higher and work even harder I can get an even better car next year".
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: women
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, marriage, old people
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, music, women
"The auditors have just left, sir." "Did they check the books?" "Very thoroughly." "What did they say?" "They want 15% to keep quiet."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, money
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
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