Best jokes ever

A Ham sandwich walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food."
Vote:
has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bar, food, life
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. "Were you worried, father?" "Yes, I was really worried... I want to know how much did that date cost you..." "It cost me only four euros!" "Hmm, it's not that much." "I know father... But the girl didn't have any more money..."
Vote:
has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, money
A guy and a girl are roommates in college. The girl goes to a frat party, brings home another guy, fucks him, and then decides the next morning that she likes her roommate and therefore it's not going to work out. After her fling left, her roommate came up to her and: Him: "I think I found my soulmate in you..." Her: "Really?!" Him: "Yeah... uh... that guy you brought home last night?" Her: "Oh yeah. I don't care about him anymore." Him: "Great! So he's available?"
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: college, communication, gay, love, mean
After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents.
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: air force, computer, money, phone, wife
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much." The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: church, game, money, travel
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: "Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?"
Vote:
has 69.88 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, fish
<<<369370371372
More jokes →
Page 369 of 1427.