Best jokes ever

Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
What do you name an Asian baby with problems? Sum ting wong.
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has 70.00 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, single, ugly, women
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
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has 69.97 % from 117 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, work
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: technology, time
A blonde, a brunette, and a man are driving in their pick-up truck. The brunette was sitting up front with the man and the blonde was in the back. While driving across a bridge the man lost control of the truck and drove over the side of the bridge. After the truck had sunk, the man and brunette fought their way out of the cab and surfaced. A couple of minutes later the blonde came out of the water, panting and breathless. "Where have you been?" asked the man. "I can't believe you left me down there! I couldn't get the tailgate open!"
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about:
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