An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
“Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”
“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to swallow the pill!
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
“Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.”
The other trucker says ” You and your brother.”
Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.”
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck.
He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?”
The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?”
The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when I asked what was for dinner, she took off her shoe and said, "Corns."
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
When my customer ordered iced tea, I asked, "Sweetened or unsweetened?"
Her answer: "What's the difference?"
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Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
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Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Q: Why can't skeletons play music at a church?
A: They have no organs.
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force?
He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
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