Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?" The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"