Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black," said Mrs. Smith. "Oh my," said Mrs. Jones, "I'd better not go."
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. "Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something" the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: "We will redecorate! We will change desks, chairs, sofas, floors, curtains, everything will be changed." The others also agree and start to make plans. So sometime later, the maid comes inside, and she sees them so upset all working hard making plans, and says: "What about you guys, What is going on?" "We do not go well as government and we are changing the decoration" they reply. The maid shrugs tentatively. "Why do you react like that?" "What can I tell you guys" she answers. "Before I came here for work, I used to work in a brothel. And when business didn’t go well, we did not change the furniture, but the hookers."
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.