Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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There is no such things as a tornado.
Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win.
But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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