Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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