Joke #7532

Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart? A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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