Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Chuck Norris has never taken a test, because no one questions Chuck Norris.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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