It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.