If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
What do you call a Labrador that becomes a magician? A Labracadabrador!
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says… "Now she knows."
Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Autocorrect can kiss my ask!
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.