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I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
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What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
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Please let me know in advance if you want to invite any secret love children to your Father's Day brunch.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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