Best jokes ever

A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
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has 68.88 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
Yo mama so old Moses is in her year book.
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has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
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has 68.86 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
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has 68.85 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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has 68.85 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
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has 68.84 % from 233 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock
Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby? A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.
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has 68.84 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: asian, black people, racist
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?" Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" "Osama Bin Laden," she says. "Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock. "Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." "I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the crap out of him."
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: black humor, love, navy, religious, Valentines day
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