Yo' Mama is like a blimp: a huge spectacle that's full of gas.
Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
A sexy woman walks up to the counter and motions the bartender over.
She starts to run her fingers through his hair and asks to speak to the manager.
The Bartender replies, "Sorry, the manager is out. Can I help you?"
By this time the woman has run her fingers over his face and in his mouth where the horny bartender is gently sucking on them.
She says, "You sure he isn’t here?"
The bartender mumbles through her fingers, "Yes, he’s out for another 2 hours. Are you sure there is nothing I can do to help?"
The woman then says, "Oh, I only wanted to tell him there’s no toilet paper or soap in the ladies toilets!"
Yo Momma so fat and ugly that when she applied to become a movie star she got the part "Godzilla".
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Vote:
Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
I'm actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song.
It gives me time to change the radio station.
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote:
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland.
On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese.
The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples.
As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats.
She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?"
An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
Q: How many telemarketers does it take to change a light-bulb?
A: Only one, but she has to do it while you're eating dinner.
Vote: