Q: How can you tell when the chief accountant is getting soft? A: When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC, and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain. The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?" The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress, then prays for the country!"
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment? A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? A: Egg-zosted!
Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field.