If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony?
A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Big inspection on a build site/yard.
The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual.
The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses.
-(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?"
She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
Why arent black people affended by thes jokes?
Because they cant read.
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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