Best jokes ever

A very old man went to a church, making this confession: - Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years. All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman. - When was the last time you made a confession? - I never have, I am Jewish. - Then why are you telling it to me? - I am telling it everybody ...
Vote:
has 68.68 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: age, church, god, sex, wife
A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
Vote:
has 68.68 % from 410 votes. More jokes about: geography, god, kids, school
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: school, weed
Q: What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A: A milk shake.
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo mama so poor, when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
What is the longest word in the English language? Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: school
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $20." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
Vote:
has 68.66 % from 273 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force.
Vote:
has 68.64 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: air force, navy
<<<392393394395
More jokes →
Page 392 of 1427.