Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
Vote:
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
Vote:
Mary and Jane are talking.
Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying.
‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane.
‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary.
‘I got pregnant within two months.’
‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane.
‘It didn’t work for us.’
‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary.
‘You have to go alone.’
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Yo momma so poor that when she farted she said clap your hands stomp your feet praise to the lord we have heat.
Yo mama is so fat when she ordered a waterbed, I gave her the atlantic ocean.
A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
Yo Mama's so fat that when she bends over, the whole country enters daylight saving.