A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Yo mama so ugly when she went to sleep Freddy Krueger was scared of her.
I kind a feel sorry for Hitler. Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
10 Facts About You: 1. You're reading this now. 2. You're realizing that this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped number 3. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're still reading this even though it is stupid. 9. You didn't realize I skipped number 8. 10. You're checking again and smiling because you fell for it again. 11. You're enjoying this. 12. You didn't realize I said 10 facts not 12.
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.