Once Chuck Norris attempted to punch through a brick wall, but the brick wall crumbled in fear.
Vote:
Devil stays in hell because he knows Chuck is around, here on earth.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap."
The other man says, "Who?"
The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
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A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.
Yo mama so poor, when she found a penny she thought she had hit the lottery.
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day.
She showed it to me, and it was BDSM.
She asked me "What we should do?"
Me: "Probably not spank him."
She belted me with the magazine.
Now I know where he gets it from.
Vote:
A Mom goes to the store shopping. She tells to the children,
"Your father will return very drunk. Undress him down to the waist and put him to sleep."
"Why to the waist", the children interested.
"Because your father has a large snake below and it can bite you."
The mother returned and her children met her at the door,
"Mom! Mom! Dad came home! We undress him all and put him to sleep."
"Are you undressed him the entire", mother worried? "What happened with the snake?"
"Don't worry, Mom!" proudly answered the children. "The snake was strangled with dad's belt, her eggs were trampled and the nest was burnt."