Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Vote:
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested.
Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.'
After a slight hesitation, she put down 'Piggy.'
You are in my heart, you are in my blood, you are in all my body.
Alas, my doc says: "You are a parasite!"
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
Even the pool table has no balls.
Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?
Father: It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Vote:
Three men were in heaven discussing how they died.
The first man said, "I died in a car accident."
The second man said, "I died by drowning."
The third man said, "I died of seenus."
The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?"
The third man said, "No, I mean SEENUS. I was out with my best friend’s wife and he seen us!"
Yo mama so old Moses is in her year book.
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common?
A: They both have a cockpit.