Best jokes ever

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
Vote: has 69.89 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, stupid, Yo mama
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
So a little kid and a child molester start walking into a forest. They keep walking for what seems like hours, and it gets darker and darker and darker, and the forest gets deeper and deeper and deeper. The kid turns to the child molester and he says "Gee mister, it sure is scary out here!" The child molester says "How do you think I feel, kid? I'm gonna have to walk out of this forest by myself!"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A man bought a new car. Next day he is driving his car to office. On the way he was waiting for the Signal. Suddenly he opened the door and got down. Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?" The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?" Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, fish
Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life