Best jokes ever

Define "Egghead": What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: life
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.44 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 68.44 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 68.44 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 68.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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