Joke #5282

A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, blonde
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, doctor, phone
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Vote: has 77.25 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, work
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, game, science, time
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette…? A blonde doing cartwheels.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Vote: has 66.90 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
How is a blond with makeup called? Simpleminded picture.
Vote: has 11.53 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde
Three blonde men are on one side of a wide river and don't know how to get across. The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river, so God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across. The second man prays to God to make him even smarter, so God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across. Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all, so God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde