Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say? A: "You're cold."
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a lambrogini? A: Procupines have pricks on the outside.
You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request. Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
Women are looking for Mr. Right. Men are looking for Ms. Right Now.