Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place? I am not Jennifer But I didn't ask about that...
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Girl: "Why did the king go to the dentist?" Boy: "I don't know, Why?" Girl: "To get a new crown!"