Best jokes ever

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times. "I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
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More jokes about: disgusting, work
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
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More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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More jokes about: car, kids, love
Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go. The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
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More jokes about: disgusting, old people
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
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More jokes about: animal, elephant
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, golf
Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: She will "let it go let it go".
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More jokes about: life, music