Best jokes ever

People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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has 68.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Why don't blacks have dreams anymore? The last one who had a dream got shot.
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has 68.03 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 68.03 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
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has 68.03 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: sex, work
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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has 68.02 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer." Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better." The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
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has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: doctor, game, soccer, sport
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
"Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!" "Was it a Jersey cow?" "I don't know, I didn't see her license plate!"
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, hunting, life
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
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