Best jokes ever

Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
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More jokes about: animal, fitness
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, kids
Chuck Norris never dies. And of course, he will also never fade away.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I went to blockbusters last night and asked if I could borrow Batman Forever. The bloke at the counter said, "NO you have to bring it back tomorrow!"
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More jokes about: life
"Wow, look at that! Isn't it beautiful? Let's destroy it." -People
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More jokes about: mean, war
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
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Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
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More jokes about: dinosaur, football, sport
Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard. One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it. Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory. The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple. The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut. Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her crotch. Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob. Bob smells it three times. "I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a shithouse."
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More jokes about: disgusting, work
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men