Best jokes ever

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Knock, knock Who's there? I'm Mr, Farter. Mr, Farter who? I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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has 67.88 % from 353 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, knock-knock, mother in law
In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: health, life, money
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilization, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?" The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, death, travel
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, IT
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, technology
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" came the reply
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Always remember: There is not problem that 6 glasses of wine can't solve.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drunk, wine
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, life
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half mast? They're hiring.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life
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