An ideal man doesn't drink, doesn't snore, doesn't watch football, doesn't argue and DOESNT'T EXIST.
You want to come in my life, the door is open.
You want to get out of my life, the door is open.
Just one request.
Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
A berry bubbly bunny.
Define "Egghead":
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
I'd tell you that I'm a nihilist but what is the point.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
The first of September, first lesson. Teacher:
"Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand."
Little Johnny immediately raises his hand.
"You want to ask something?"
"No. Just checking how the system works."
Vote:
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something 'practical' for her birthday.
"Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested.
Cathy was delighted.
"It's your account, darling," mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application."
Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for 'Name of your former bank.'
After a slight hesitation, she put down 'Piggy.'
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11