Best jokes ever

Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody!
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, school, Yo mama
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, music, science
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, old people, work
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?" My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. "We'll go in the limousine dummy."
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: death, family, funeral, kids, phone
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
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has 67.31 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, sex
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