How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize? Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? A month later he was picking his teeth.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.