Best jokes ever

An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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has 67.68 % from 1215 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
Why are asprins white? Because they work!
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has 67.67 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: racist
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
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has 67.67 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
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has 67.66 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: women
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
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has 67.64 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, men, women
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
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