Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden? A month later he was picking his teeth.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
How do you know you have a great CPA? He has a tax loophole named after him.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"