A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman “Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?”
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
Why don't blacks have dreams anymore? The last one who had a dream got shot.
What does a man make best for dinner? Reservations.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. "Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
What did God say when he made the first black man? "Damn, I burnt one."
What do you call a bunch of mexicans getting stoned? Baked beans.
Yo mommas so black that when she walked outside the street lights turned on.
Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.