Best jokes ever

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
Drake Bell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco".
Vote:
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Vote:
has 67.67 % from 261 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
Vote:
has 67.66 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: women
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote:
has 67.65 % from 1214 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on? The Captains Dinghy!
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish, life
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, men, women
Patient: "Doctor, I am feeling much better now. Please give me your bill." Doctor: "Be calm. You are not strong enough for this yet."
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, money
Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
<<<421422423424
More jokes →
Page 421 of 1427.