Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.
After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.
"How you like it?" asked the barber.
"Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
Vote:
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting?
A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
Vote:
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis.
"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
"Once upon a time there was a white bunny..."
"Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?"
"Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said.
"Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...."
"Dad, a little more grown up!"
"Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown.
" I swear!"
"Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains.
She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.”
And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
A young man presents his fiancee to his parent.
At the table, the girl needs to have a fart.
After a couple of minutes they can feel a smell...
The father-in-law says: Rex...!
Happy that her future father-in-law blamed the dog under her chair, the girl relaxes.
After a while she gives another and the father-in-law says very angry:
Rex, be careful...
With a very big relief, the girl farts again.
Father-in-law says:
Rex!
Get out of there she’ll shit on you!