There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
The Cop
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize!
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Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby.
Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.
"No !" his weeping wife replied.
"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.
"NO !!!" she said even more upset.
"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.
"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Yo mamma so stupid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries.
God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!"
The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good."
God agreed.
Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud."
"That seems easy enough," replied God.
"I would also like to have wings like an angel."
"OK," replied God.
Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request.
"God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?"
"Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
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Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
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