What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
How do you know if you've walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore? It'll be called "Wong Fook Hing Book Store".
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Why are asprins white? Because they work!
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. A2: Perverted is when you use the whole chicken...
Q: What is the most dangerous part of a motorcycle? A: The nut between the seat and the handlebars.