Best jokes ever

One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: business, life, math, time, women
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge. "Was it my friend Sam", he demanded. "No !" his weeping wife replied. "Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked. "NO !!!" she said even more upset. "Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked. "Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper? A: They need a map....
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: military
A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs. "That is something you're never going to talk about again. And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth." Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared. One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married. On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there. "No," he said, "it's got teeth." "Silly goose!" she said. She spread her legs wide for him to see. "See? No teeth!" "Well, I'm not surprised," the man said. "Not with gums like that."
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has 67.19 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The world is like a jar of jelly beans. Everybody hates the black ones.
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has 67.18 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 67.17 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
What do you call a mexican having a shower? A miracle.
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has 67.16 % from 371 votes. More jokes about: racist
How does a leopard change its spots? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
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