Q: What is the difference between a teenager on her rag and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.