Best jokes ever

One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that." The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us." "Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny. "Yes," says the priest." Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny. "Yes," says the priest. "Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"
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has 66.76 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: god, little Johnny, priest
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
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has 66.76 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There was this guy who was sick,so he went to the doctor. The doc ran some tests and sent him home with some medicine. The next day the doctor called and the wife answered. "I'm going to need to run a few more tests", the doctor said. "I'm going to need a semen, urine and a fecal sample". After she hung up the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?" "He needs a pair of your underwear".
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has 66.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, drug, husband, wife
A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?" A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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