Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
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So a little kid and a child molester start walking into a forest.
They keep walking for what seems like hours, and it gets darker and darker and darker, and the forest gets deeper and deeper and deeper.
The kid turns to the child molester and he says "Gee mister, it sure is scary out here!"
The child molester says "How do you think I feel, kid? I'm gonna have to walk out of this forest by myself!"
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A man had a party where all the rich people attend.
And the he had a pool with alligators.
So he announced that anyone who will swim across this pool and come out alive will be granted three wishes.
But no one wanted to go for the challenge.
All of a sudden, there was a big splash and a man was swimming like a hell and came out alive.
So the host asked, "What are your three wishes?"
The man replied, "Give me the shotgun and bulllets and show me the idiot that pushed me in..."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Hide a seek champion...
;
Since 1958
A magician comes to a seniors' home for entertainment afternoon: "Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?"
Seniors, enthusiastically, "Yeaaaah!"
Magician, winking, "But not for looooong...!"
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Joke has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, old people, vulgar
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
Lady goes to doctor with a bee up her fanny.
Doc says, "Im gonna rub honey on my d*ck and insert it, when the bee smells it, I'll pull out and he'll follow."
Doctor starts and woman begins to moan.
Doctor gets faster and harder.
Woman yells, "What the f*ck you doing?"
Doc says, "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard."