Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather.
One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual.
It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house.
He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her.
"Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.